Dear Rory,
Yes, I know, it's been a long time. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you, which I am sure you know, but recently I haven’t taken much time to talk to you directly. Part of that has been intentional and part of that has not.
I have been hearing the trains at home a lot more than normal lately. Is that coincidental considering the trees have dropped their leaves? Probably, but I still entertain the idea that you have something to do with that.
Why haven’t I been talking to you? Most of all I think it’s because I don’t miss you anymore, at least not in the conventional sense. Selfishly I still miss you dearly but the last two years has given me a lot of time to rationalize the emotional struggles I have in regards to you.
While I still know that I am never going to be OK with your choice, with your suicide, I am not saddened thinking about the fact that you are no longer here with us physically.
I’ve spend a lot of time trying to understand what you dealt with at the core of your being. The pain and hurt you felt on a daily basis (mentally and emotionally) I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially not on you.
You are in a better place, I know that. My faith is as strong as ever and I am at ease knowing where you are instead.
Boat Drinks,
Bri
